May 5, 2016
Help! – UK, 1965
The plot of Richard Lester’s Help!, the Beatles’ second film, can be summed up in one sentence. Here
it is: Members of a pagan cult are trying to kill Ringo, and the Beatles are
trying to record an album. That’s it. And when I say that’s it, I mean it. This
is a film that could have had a love interest, but doesn’t. It could have been
about the Fabulous Four embarking on a campy James Bond-inspired adventure, but
it isn’t. It could have been about the recording of an album, but it isn’t. A
real film about that would have had recording sessions filled with starts and
stops, wrong notes and wrong pitches, and occasional last-minute rewrites.
Here, the Beatles only really need one take to create pop masterpieces - they’re
essentially the Ed Wood of the music world.
The film begins in an underground lair where a young woman
is going to be sacrificed so that the cult’s current leader can retain his
position, which makes about as much sense as anything else in the film. Just
before the sacrifice is to take place, a woman of high rank notices that the
poor damsel in distress is not wearing the so-called sacrificial ring, so just
like that the sacrifice is called off. But just where is the ring? Well, as it
turns out, it is on the unfortunate hand of one Ringo Starr. So off they go,
first to retrieve the ring, then to anoint him with the traditional sacrificial
red paint, and then to finish the job. Laughing yet?
From there, the film is a series of failed attempts on Ringo’s
life, interrupted by 1965’s version of music videos beginning with “Help” and“You’re
Gonna Lose That Girl” and ending with another rendition of “Help.” This one
provides the backdrop for a head-scratching slapstick brawl that made me regret
all of the harsh things I have said about the end of Blazing Saddles. In between, jokes fall flat, characters break the fourth
wall unnecessarily, and the audience is urged to hum along with the “Ode to Joy”
from Beethoven’s 9 in order to make a tiger that is threatening to lunch on
Ringo…Oh, never mind. You get the
picture.
There are bits that are slightly memorable, in particular,
the Beatles performing in front of Stonehenge, Ringo joyfully and accurately playing
air drums, and a recurring bit about the unreliability of American products in
England. I could also mention the soundtrack, but it feels wrong to encourage people
to watch a movie for the music when listening to the CD would be a much better
use of one’s time.
I suppose the appeal of the film back in 1965 was the chance
to see the Beatles on the big screen, especially after the success and
widespread acclaim of A Hard Day’s Night
just a year earlier, and I admit that this is partly what made me decide to
watch it. After all, this was when they were one of – if not the – most popular band in the world,
yet stripped of that context and the willingness to accept mediocrity in
exchange for the chance to see matinee idols performing some of their best
music onscreen, there is relatively little to recommend about the film. It
doesn’t help viewers understand the band better, and it seems content to offer
its audience as little as possible, perhaps believing that fans of the Fab Four
would put up with whatever filler was put in between the music numbers. I hope
they’re wrong, for Help! is
everything a Beatles movie should not be – tedious, poorly written, and
uninvolving. In other words, it is the exact opposite of escapist fun. But hey,
at least the soundtrack was good. (on DVD and Blu-ray)
2 and a half stars (the half star is for the music)
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